Happy September!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had the last week to Aug off to prepare for our son going to Gr 2, we had a few days of fun, and then I got sick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But since it\u2019s September, so want to come back to share my tips and tricks to help you stand for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m a pretty aggressive driver, so I get road rage a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, yesterday, I was trying to make a left turn, and there was a car that was about to do a right turn (from the oncoming traffic), but it was too slow, so I went first, and of course, the driver honked at me. So I thought, \u201cYeah yeah, whatever, you\u2019re too slow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today while driving, I was about to come to the light to make a right turn, there was no car in my lane, but two cars on the left lane. As I was coming closer to the intersection, the second car on the left lane decided to come into my lane to be the \u201cfirst\u201d car. But it was heading straight, so I was stuck behind this car for the entire light. I was like, you little F-ker\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But funny enough, I didn\u2019t really get too angry today. I was like.. humm.. interesting\u2026 maybe it\u2019s because I allowed myself to be an a-hole yesterday, so today, I let this person be the a-hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And this is exactly what I wanted to try with you today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Often times, we feel as if other people are forcing us to do things against our wishes. And we\u2019d get so mad! How can they be so disrespectful!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Arrggg, my mom is forcing me to invite more of her friends that I don\u2019t know to my wedding! \ud83d\ude21\ud83d\ude21\ud83d\ude21<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh gosh\u2026. My friend is once again calling me to help her with whatever emergency she has to deal with in her life! \ud83d\ude29\ud83d\ude29\ud83d\ude29<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we\u2019d often get mad or frustrated at them because we felt as if we\u2019re forced into the situation, and we had no choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet, we do have a choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We just didn\u2019t want make that choice because we don\u2019t want to be an a-hole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We want to be the good daughter, good friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I get it. Because we\u2019d always been the good daughter, the good friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So for once, let\u2019s allow ourselves to be the a-hole! So we can say no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even just for once in our mind, so we can visualize it for a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you have a scenario in your head, you can use that too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So here\u2019re the steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First is to declare your desire, what do you want in your situation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe you don\u2019t want anymore of your mom\u2019s friends at your wedding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or you don\u2019t want to take care of your friend\u2019s emergencies any longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about you? What do you want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now that you\u2019ve decided, then make this declaration:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I allow myself to be an a-hole!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Which means, if you\u2019re an a-hole, how does it feel like in your body?<\/p>\n\n\n\n For me, I feel as if my shoulders are back, I\u2019m proud of myself, I don\u2019t give two-\ud83d\udca9\u2019s about people\u2019s feelings, they can react anyway they want, and I don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What about you? If you\u2019re an a-hole how does it feel for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n And once you got that feeling, just imagine doing that thing you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Play it out in your head\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine saying to mom, no more of your friends at my wedding!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or imagine saying to the friend, I am tired of taking care of your BS emergencies! I\u2019m not doing it anymore!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just imagine doing that thing you want to do\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How does that feel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yeah,.. kind of weird. And yet, this is the necessary first step to standing up for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because guess what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Standing up for yourself means the guilt-trip will come,<\/p>\n\n\n\n the dramatic cries will come,<\/p>\n\n\n\n the deadly silences will come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even though you\u2019re not really an a-hole, in their eyes, you will be one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So you can use this as one of your visualization exercises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t actually need to be an a-hole to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s just when you can allow yourself to be one, then you can allow others to be however they want to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And you\u2019ll be more prepared in dealing with their outbursts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope this helps you in your journey of YOU!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have 5 1:1 coaching spots open for the month of September, I work closely with those who feel they have trouble speaking up to their parents or they want to gain more confidence in standing up for themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n