{"id":892,"date":"2024-07-11T20:30:46","date_gmt":"2024-07-12T01:30:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/claudiachan.co\/?p=892"},"modified":"2024-07-11T20:30:49","modified_gmt":"2024-07-12T01:30:49","slug":"when-you-feel-you-have-no-other-choices-choose-your-own-adventure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/when-you-feel-you-have-no-other-choices-choose-your-own-adventure\/","title":{"rendered":"When you feel you have no other choices (Choose Your Own Adventure)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Last night, my husband and I were playing Mortal Kombat 11, and at the end of the story line, we got to choose between playing as the good guy or the bad guy. Of course, without thinking about it, my husband chose the good guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But when I saw it, I was like,&nbsp;<strong>\u201cWAIT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE GET TO CHOOSE???\u201d&nbsp;<\/strong>(Choosing to be the bad guy means that the bad guy wins).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So of course, our son and I made him replay the ending as the bad guy, (too bad, it was a bit underwhelming).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yet here\u2019s the thing, when I was growing up, I loved those choose your own adventure books. I would always go back to previous points to see what could have happened if I picked a different outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And interesting enough, while growing up, a part of me ALWAYS wondered and questioned why things had to be a certain way. Why can\u2019t things be different?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now why am I talking about this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Because, sometimes, we may come across situations where we may feel like, \u201cThat is no other choices\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>But what if, there is?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I started my business, my son was very young. I had to take care of my son, and I also had to work full time. Many times, I would feel bogged down by this nasty feeling called resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I would look at other moms, and I would compare myself to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOf course they could work on their business! Cause they\u2019re stay at home moms!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cOf course their business is flourishing because they had help from their moms or in-laws.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI have no time! I still have to work full time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI still have to take care of my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI still have to take care of household chores.\u201d (even though my husband takes care of a lot of things).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I felt defeated\u2026 I felt as if I had to put my dreams on hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If only I have more time to do the things I want!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While at the same time:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In my head, I could hear my mom\u2019s voice, \u201cYou\u2019re a mom now, so you have to give your son more of your undivided attention.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I could also see how much my husband was doing at home, and my brain would say, \u201cClaudia, you\u2019re not pulling your weight as a wife!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Resentment - Guilt - Disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I call it the unholy trinity, because they somehow go hand in hand, pulling me down a spiral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s an example of how it would pull me down:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On days my son would sleep a little bit later, even though it was only 15 or 30 min longer than usual, the unholy trinity would activate its energy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI don\u2019t have time to do anything for me anymore!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I would get upset at him, and by the time he was asleep, rather than starting to do my work, I would start scrolling through social media. Then I would see other people\u2019s work, and I would feel even worse about myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A super awful combination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I remembered one day, when I heard Brooke Castillo\u2019s story, (the coach whom I completed my Life Coach Certification with), it stopped me in my tracks!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She talked about bringing her kids to the park one day, while watching them play, this idea came to her:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cI could actually stand up and walk away right now if I want to.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I heard that, I was like\u2026&nbsp;<strong>\u201cWAIT! What do you mean you can just stand up and walk away if you want to?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh sh*t\u2026 she can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are so many women (and men) who just decided to get up and leave their kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Now, whether it is the \u201cright\u201d thing to do or not, that\u2019s not the point.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>The point is, she has a choice.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just like picking a different option in the adventure book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just like picking to play as the bad guy in Mortal Kombat 11.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, maybe you\u2019re in a situation where you feel like you\u2019re stuck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe you have to take care of your kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe you have to take care of your aging parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And this \u201cobligation\u201d has somehow turned into resentment-disappointment-guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And this unholy trinity has somehow been pulling you downward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cClaudia, why do I have to do this? But I don\u2019t have a choice....\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s such an awful feeling, that it just seems like there are no other options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s something I\u2019d like to present you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Take a deep breath in, and out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And for a moment, just imagine yourself making the other choice in your head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What if you\u2019re allowed to choose the other option, let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know, guilt will come in, \u201cBut I can\u2019t! I\u2019ll be selfish!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes, but this is imagination right now, you\u2019re not really doing this for real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just for a moment, if you can allow yourself to let go of that inner voice, the one that labels you as a bad mom, or a bad daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And imagine yourself choosing the other option\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What could happen in that world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How will you feel if you can choose that option?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are possibilities that can happen to make this option feasible?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019re some possible options:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe you\u2019d like to work through the guilt, so you can really allow yourself to choose something different to pursue your dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe you\u2019d like to explore options of how to get help to lighten your load, so you can pursue your dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe you actually like what you have now. You just want to work through the unholy trinity, so that \u201cresentment-disappointment-guilty\u201d doesn\u2019t have any hold on you. Which means, whatever little time you do have, rather than spiralling downward, you can use that time to pursue your dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do you want for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At the end of the day, you get to choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can choose Option Parent\/Kid<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can choose Option You.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can choose Option Both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because you\u2019re the one who makes your own choices in your own adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I hope that this perspective can help you look at your life slightly different. I highly encourage you to imagine it for a moment, because you deserve to choose what's best for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If something comes up for you, I'd really like to hear about your experience. What came up for you? Share your response with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night, my husband and I were playing Mortal Kombat 11, and at the end of the story line, we got to choose between playing as the good guy or the bad guy. Of course, without thinking about it, my husband chose the good guy. But when I saw it, I was like,&nbsp;\u201cWAIT!!! WHAT DO [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":893,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When you feel you have no other choices (Choose Your Own Adventure) - Claudia Chan<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/when-you-feel-you-have-no-other-choices-choose-your-own-adventure\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When you feel you have no other choices (Choose Your Own Adventure) - Claudia Chan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Last night, my husband and I were playing Mortal Kombat 11, and at the end of the story line, we got to choose between playing as the good guy or the bad guy. 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Of course, without thinking about it, my husband chose the good guy. But when I saw it, I was like,&nbsp;\u201cWAIT!!! 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