{"id":349,"date":"2022-12-01T20:47:53","date_gmt":"2022-12-02T01:47:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/claudiachan.co\/?p=349"},"modified":"2022-12-01T20:47:56","modified_gmt":"2022-12-02T01:47:56","slug":"take-power-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/take-power-back\/","title":{"rendered":"Take the power back for yourself!\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>With the holidays fast approaching, that means gatherings will be happening soon.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This may be a stressful time for you, because this is when a lot of inappropriate comments, unwanted questions and unsolicited advices will be made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These may include:<br>When are you getting married?\u00a0<br>You should be having more kids.\u00a0<br>Have you found a job yet?\u00a0<br>Did you gain some weight?\u00a0<br>You should show up to this event.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s something I teach my clients.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can <strong>TAKE CHARGE<\/strong> of how you want to respond to these comments and questions.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I talk to people about it, they\u2019re usually like, what do you mean I can take charge?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is what I mean:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We are raised to believe that our emotions are caused by other people\u2019s actions.\u00a0<br>But we know we cannot control other people\u2019s actions, and we feel disempowered.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So here\u2019s what we usually end up doing:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Feeling hurt, so we cry and sulk in front of them, or we yell and force other people to change their behaviours.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But rarely can we actually control other people\u2019s actions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll share this with you: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s what really stands between their actions and your feelings. Your thoughts.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can either keep blaming them, and wanting them to change, and remain feeling disempowered.\u00a0<br>Or you can take responsibility and take charge of your own emotions and how you respond them them. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Understanding that our thoughts cause our feelings is the first step to taking your power back.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A very simple example I always give to my clients is this.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your relative can say, \u201cI don\u2019t like how your blue hair looks on you.\u201d\u00a0<br>If you don\u2019t have blue hair (and assuming that you don\u2019t) You\u2019re not going to feel hurt by this comment.\u00a0<br>You may feel confused, because you may be thinking, \u201cI have no clue what my relative is talking about.\u201d\u00a0<br>But you won\u2019t feel hurt or triggered by this comment because you don\u2019t have blue hair, and you don\u2019t have any hurtful beliefs about yourself around this.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if your relative asks, \u201cDid you gain some weight?\u201d Or<br>\u201cWhen are you having your next kid?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now you may feel triggered, because deep in your mind, you do have some sort of belief surrounding these issues.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not looking like what\u2019s expected of me, I\u2019m not beautiful enough.\u201d Or<br>\u201cI\u2019m not doing what\u2019s expected of me, I\u2019m not a good enough wife.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These beliefs had been ingrained in you since you were a kid.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You are expected to be a certain way, or you must behave a certain way in order to feel accepted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m not dismissing or condoning other people\u2019s behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But ultimately, these questions or comments hurt, or they make you irritated, or shameful even, because you have a strong belief about yourself.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And they are very painful beliefs to have!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What I do, is I help my clients <strong>identify all these thoughts and beliefs<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Dig them up and look at them.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Process the painful, irritating, annoying, or whatever feelings that come with it.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then we ask: <strong>Is this thought really true about me?<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">If it is not true<\/span>, and if it\u2019s not something that serves me anymore, then <strong>what do I really want to believe about myself?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How do I want to feel?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And most importantly, <strong>HOW do I want to respond when other people are doing the things I don\u2019t like?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do I want to confront them and tell them to f-off? Or\u00a0<br>Do I want to let it go and not be bothered by them?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And this is important!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because by you going through this process, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">you get a chance to sort through all of the beliefs<\/span> that you\u2019d accumulated over so many years (42 years for me!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And You get to <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">look at all of them and decide if this is really who you are, and if it\u2019s something you want to keep for yourself<\/span>!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You get to create the real version of yourself, to redefine who you really are.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So you can LOVE yourself the way you are. Love yourself the way you want.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>And when you love yourself, you stop giving a sh*t about what other people say about you.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You become stronger in your voice.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you decide to speak up, you can let other person know that they\u2019ve crossed the line, and it\u2019s inappropriate of them.\u00a0<br>Or you can be cool and calm and say, \u201cThat doesn\u2019t bother me, it\u2019s not even worth my time, they can say whatever they want to say.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You give yourself your sanity back, you take your time back, you take your energy back!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">This is how you get to take charge<\/span>! You get to take control back over how you want to feel when other people do whatever they do.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That is the power you get to have.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If that is what you want, then let\u2019s get you on this path!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Book a <a href=\"https:\/\/claudiachan.simplybook.me\/v2\/#book\/service\/2\/count\/1\/provider\/1\/\">free 60-min Jump Start Conversation<\/a> with me, and we can identify which areas you\u2019d like to work on, how you want to show up for yourself, and see if we\u2019re a great fit to work together!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I want you to be who you truly are!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because what other people do or say, they don\u2019t define you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You are beautiful, smart, ambitious, giving, and you get to decide for yourself what is best for you.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take that power back and truly be yourself!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/claudiachan.simplybook.me\/v2\/#book\/service\/2\/count\/1\/provider\/1\/\">Book a session with me now<\/a>!\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With the holidays fast approaching, that means gatherings will be happening soon.&nbsp; This may be a stressful time for you, because this is when a lot of inappropriate comments, unwanted questions and unsolicited advices will be made. These may include:When are you getting married?\u00a0You should be having more kids.\u00a0Have you found a job yet?\u00a0Did you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":350,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Take the power back for yourself!\u00a0 - Claudia Chan<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As the holidays draw near, people are going to do things you don&#039;t like. 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