{"id":326,"date":"2022-11-24T22:31:25","date_gmt":"2022-11-25T03:31:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/claudiachan.co\/?p=326"},"modified":"2022-11-24T22:31:29","modified_gmt":"2022-11-25T03:31:29","slug":"embrace-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/embrace-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"<strong>Embracing your fear (to do what you really want)<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had the opportunity of hosting a workshop for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.motherstodaughters.ca\/\">Mothers to Daughters<\/a>, and had a chance to share my knowledge about fear with others.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of the times, I find that if there is something we really want to do but if we haven\u2019t done it yet, it\u2019s most likely because of fear.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But we don\u2019t actually see it as fear, because our society doesn\u2019t tolerate fear very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of the times, we see fear as a weakness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We say things like, <br>Why are you scared? There\u2019s nothing to be afraid of!\u00a0<br>Oh c\u2019mon it\u2019s nothing!\u00a0<br>Oh scardy cat!!! Scardy cat!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So we \u201cpush\u201d fear to one side, or stuff it down and white knuckle our way through.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But when we feel fear, our brain is giving us a warning, saying that it\u2019s really afraid of something.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And when we ignore the signal and keep going, our brain will send out a bigger signal to stop us the next time!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If we muscle our way through again, our brain will send <em>an even bigger signal<\/em> the next time!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s when procrastination happens! That\u2019s when we stop ceasing movement forward. And then we think it\u2019s a problem, we say things like,<br>Oh I have \u201cno motivation\u201d.\u00a0<br>It\u2019s not what I really want to do.\u00a0<br>Or<br>I\u2019m not cut out for this.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But all of these are <strong>NOT<\/strong> true.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s just our brain trying to hold us back.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So I shared with everyone that there are two things to understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>First, fear doesn\u2019t like to show up as fear, it likes to disguise itself as the following:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Logic<\/em> - it\u2019ll be irresponsible for me if I quit my job to do what I want!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Excuses<\/em> - I\u2019m too tired from today\u2019s work, it was a stressful day<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Blame<\/em> - I wanted to work on my business but my son got sick again!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Over-analysis<\/em> - what if they laugh at me, or what if I don\u2019t know how to respond?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Guilt<\/em> - I shouldn\u2019t do that because my parents sacrificed so much for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Perfectionism<\/em> - I have to work on the script again, or I have to keep taking another course!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what is your fear\u2019s disguise? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So many times, I was either blaming someone in my life, or I\u2019m making excuses for myself. I was also criticizing myself a lot, being a super anal perfectionist!\u00a0Those were some of my fear's disguises! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Second there are three types of fear<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Fear of Lost of love<\/em><\/strong> - being abandoned or rejected, scared that other people no longer love us or support us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the old days, if we were ever abandoned, we couldn\u2019t survive!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Fear of Physical or emotional pain <\/em><\/strong>- getting physically or emotionally hurt by others if we do something\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There was a time when \u201cwitches\u201d were being burnt and we would be physically tortured and humiliated if we did outrageous things!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>Fear of failure\/the unknown<\/strong><\/em> - fear of not having enough skills and feel incompetent and not knowing what the outcome is<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If we wanted to fight an animal, and if we were physically incapable to do so, we would die!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our brains had to survive those times, and they protected us so we didn't die! Our brains had evolved to keep us alive. Even though these fears don\u2019t serve us anymore, it\u2019s natural that we\u2019re still stuck with them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>To overcome them, we have to be able to pinpoint what exact fear we\u2019re facing, and then we process that emotion to embrace it.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>Embracing it means, to drop into our body and feel the emotions. Be able to describe the feeling in our body.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s this simple, yet we don\u2019t like to do it because it doesn\u2019t feel good!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>But embracing it is so important! Because it means to acknowledge our brains and say, hey, I know you\u2019re scared right now, but we\u2019re feeling it right now, and we\u2019r safe. There really is nothing to be afraid of.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once we embrace it, THEN we can move on.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m not saying we can\u2019t move on without processing it, but when we don\u2019t, we feel a lot of resistance moving forward. The forward momentum feels very heavy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After processing it, the resistance may still be there, but it\u2019s a bit lighter, because we know it\u2019s just an emotion.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So many times we want to try something, and fear is right there! It\u2019s inevitable!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So now we learn to take care of ourselves by creating a safe space for our brains, let our brains know that we\u2019re not in danger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We can trust ourselves, and we have our own back, no matter what really happens.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019d like to learn how to process your fear because there is something you really want to do, even just as simple as speaking up for yourself, I\u2019d love to help.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m offering <a href=\"https:\/\/claudiachan.simplybook.me\/v2\/#book\/service\/3\/count\/1\/\">free 30-min coaching session<\/a> where we can process your fear. And decide on how you want to feel instead.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Imagine how life can be like if you can be you! Not caring about what other people say, you can do what you want, say what you say, be how you want to be, without fear, without guilt.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Look, you\u2019d been doing so many things for other people in your life, you\u2019re seeing so many people move forward, but what about you?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>It\u2019s time to look after yourself. It\u2019s time to focus on you!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first step to do that is to get over your fear.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can help with that, see for yourself and <a href=\"https:\/\/claudiachan.simplybook.me\/v2\/#book\/service\/3\/count\/1\/\">book a session with me now<\/a>!\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had the opportunity of hosting a workshop for Mothers to Daughters, and had a chance to share my knowledge about fear with others.\u00a0 Most of the times, I find that if there is something we really want to do but if we haven\u2019t done it yet, it\u2019s most likely because of fear.&nbsp; But we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":327,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - 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