{"id":284,"date":"2022-11-07T23:33:12","date_gmt":"2022-11-08T04:33:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/claudiachan.co\/?p=284"},"modified":"2022-11-07T23:33:16","modified_gmt":"2022-11-08T04:33:16","slug":"never-allowed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/","title":{"rendered":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This happens to me almost every weekend:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My son being on the iPad for 3 hours<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cYou\u2019d been on it for too long, have to stop now.\u201d
My son: *screaming and crying* \u201cYou don\u2019t allow me to do anything!\u201d \u00a0
Me: \u201cI\u2019d let you watch for the last 3 hours!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d try my best to calmly explain to him and help him deal with his emotions. But really, deep inside I just want to take the iPad away and tell him No More Watching!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I wonder if I spoil my son too much, or if I\u2019m too strict with him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever had this happen before? Have you ever wonder why this is so triggering?<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s why; because you have this thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was never allowed to do that when I was young!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe your parents were strict, and never allowed you to do anything you wanted.\u00a0
Maybe they hit you when you cross the line.\u00a0
When they laid down the rules, that was the law and you had to follow.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was no talking back at them, or questioning their authority. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when you kid starts rebelling and testing their boundaries, it can be very triggering! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because you weren\u2019t allowed to do these things.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tapping into what I want <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having my son really taught me what it means to tap into one\u2019s desire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never did I once rebelled against my mom.\u00a0Whatever my mom said was the \u201claw\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as much as it is frustrating to deal with my son when he has his tantrums, I\u2019m actually very proud of him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I want him to tap into what he wants and be able to use his voice to advocate for himself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So many times, our desires were suppressed. When we want something, we get told No over and over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We get told that what we want are not reasonable, that they aren\u2019t going to make money, that they\u2019re just a hobby, that they are just a waste of time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want my son to be able to admit to himself and be able to say, \u201cthis is what I want to do, this is how I\u2019m going to make it work.\u201d Without limits being placed around him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want him to be able to explore his own interests, so that his creativity can open up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want him to be able to trust what it is he wants, without second guessing himself, and not be persuaded by what other people say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which also means, I have to do that for me.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have to tap into what I want, go after what I want, no matter what other people say about me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I feel triggered now, I know it\u2019s because there was a limit placed around me, and I have to break that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which means I have to keep asking myself where I am willing to draw the line, so that I can be comfortable with my son\u2019s exploration and my own acceptance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If this is something you\u2019d like to explore, try a 30min free coaching<\/a> session with me. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can go through that and figure out how far you\u2019re willing to push the limits, both for yourself (so you can learn to be more you), and for your kids.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Book your session now. <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This happens to me almost every weekend: My son being on the iPad for 3 hours Me: \u201cYou\u2019d been on it for too long, have to stop now.\u201dMy son: *screaming and crying* \u201cYou don\u2019t allow me to do anything!\u201d \u00a0Me: \u201cI\u2019d let you watch for the last 3 hours!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d try my best to calmly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":285,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, "I was never allowed this when I was young"!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, "I was never allowed this when I was young"!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Claudia Chan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1090\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"433\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Claudia Chan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Claudia Chan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Claudia Chan\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c\"},\"headline\":\"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!!\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":588,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/11\\\/limitation.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/\",\"name\":\"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/11\\\/limitation.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c\"},\"description\":\"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, \\\"I was never allowed this when I was young\\\"!\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/11\\\/limitation.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/11\\\/limitation.jpg\",\"width\":1090,\"height\":433},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/never-allowed\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!!\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/\",\"name\":\"Claudia Chan\",\"description\":\"Claudia Chan is a Certified Life Coach for Asian Women.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c\",\"name\":\"Claudia Chan\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Claudia Chan\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/evercraftleather.com\\\/claudiachan\\\/author\\\/claudiaclaudiachan-co\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan","description":"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, \"I was never allowed this when I was young\"!","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan","og_description":"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, \"I was never allowed this when I was young\"!","og_url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/","og_site_name":"Claudia Chan","article_published_time":"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1090,"height":433,"url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Claudia Chan","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Claudia Chan","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/"},"author":{"name":"Claudia Chan","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/#\/schema\/person\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c"},"headline":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!!","datePublished":"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00","dateModified":"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/"},"wordCount":588,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/","url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/","name":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!! - Claudia Chan","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg","datePublished":"2022-11-08T04:33:12+00:00","dateModified":"2022-11-08T04:33:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/#\/schema\/person\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c"},"description":"Our kids like to test boundaries, and we get triggered by it simply because we believed that, \"I was never allowed this when I was young\"!","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/limitation.jpg","width":1090,"height":433},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/never-allowed\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I was NEVER allowed this when I was young!!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/#website","url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/","name":"Claudia Chan","description":"Claudia Chan is a Certified Life Coach for Asian Women.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/#\/schema\/person\/38e421a762453f0a74b6d7aca16e4e3c","name":"Claudia Chan","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d373f444fa9010df2ed5dcdd00448253b4033c116bb3eca4b209ef54858b157d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Claudia Chan"},"url":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/author\/claudiaclaudiachan-co\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions\/286"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evercraftleather.com\/claudiachan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}