Today, I got a sore throat so I stayed home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since the beginning of Jan, I started writing on Wed mornings. For two hours, I wrote whatever I wanted to write.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So even though I was sick, I still pulled out my laptop because I wanted to continue this writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I make this open, would you be interested in it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It's basically joining my zoom room, and we'll just take time to write. You can write a journal, you can write your book, you can write your email sequence. Or if you don't have anything to write, I can give you a promote to write about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would this be of interest to you? You can reply to this post to let me know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Recently, I\u2019d been watching YouTube videos of this Shaolin monk called Shi Heng Yi<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the videos was his TED Talk about the missing link.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shared about how one of the links he saw missing was the \u2018care\u2019 within ourselves<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhen you don\u2019t care, you don\u2019t spend time with it\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you can only care for some one, or some thing, if you only know how care feels.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
THIS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This caught my attention. Because\u2026 for the majority of my life, I had used this sentence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Care, is a funny word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looking back, I thought.. was I not cared for?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean, my parents \u201ccared\u201d for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet, a lot of times, it wasn\u2019t the care that I needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t know how care feels like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
****************<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my mom asked me to help out, she would demand that thing according to her timing, and instructed me to do things a certain way, and if I didn\u2019t follow, then I'd get berated and criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Care meant to be given an opportunity to do thing my way, and be grateful of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my mom didn\u2019t ask for help, but expected it out of the blue, and went on a shameful rant about how none of us are helpful at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Care meant to lay it out in the open to talk about it as a family, asking others for opinions and contributions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Listening with respect, working as a team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course growing up in an Asian family household, this was not a thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I ended up not caring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because if my opinions were not cared of to begin with, if my feelings were not taken into consideration to begin with. Why would I want to give that back to someone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And this was how it all started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It didn\u2019t stop there. Once my mom told me to keep my flaws behind closed doors, that I can\u2019t show my weakness with others, this wall just kept building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And with the law of mirroring, the more I didn\u2019t care about myself, I didn\u2019t care about others as much either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If they resonate with me and want to be my friend, sure I can be their friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If they don\u2019t care too much about making friends with me, then they can just leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This extended into my work life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were so many times things were happening at work where I'd say, \u201cI don\u2019t care\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My colleague was like, but you should care more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pondered about it, thinking.. why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why should one care?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This has been a question I\u2019d been wrestling with for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
******************************<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me, care is not only about being physically cared for: like being provided a safe space to live, having food on the table, having all the material things in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Care, for me, is to know that I matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My opinions matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My voice matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My experiences matter<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My feelings matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And not only that, I am respected when I share them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I don\u2019t get made fun of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When other people\u2019s opinions differ from mine, rather than being attacked, they actually try to find out why I think differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They want to hear exactly what I have to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rather than dismissing my feelings, they sit with me, let me know that they\u2019re with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if they see that I\u2019m in a slump, they will do their best to pull me out, show me what\u2019s possible, share with me what they saw in me. Paint a picture of possibility and share that vision with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do I bring \u201ccare\u201d into my life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The truth is, it\u2019s a journey, and I\u2019d been on this journey for decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d been called selfish, apathetic, disrespectful, aloof, taker, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I hadn\u2019t gone through those moments, I wouldn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think the most important, is for me to really care about me first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because when I \u201cdon\u2019t care\u201d about others, it\u2019s also because I \u201cdon\u2019t care\u201d about myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m learning to value my own opinions, my voice, my experiences, my feelings\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They all matter to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And no one else care more about them than me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Second, I have to say that the people whom I\u2019d attracted into my life had been phenomenal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because they would harp again and again to my face, how great I am, how brilliant I am, how strong I am, how amazing I am. Even when I didn\u2019t believe in them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is through them, I learned to love myself, to care about myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The one two punch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me having people around to lift me up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And me learning to lift myself up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Having people who care about me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I can care about me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I can go out and care about others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause you can only care for some one, or some thing, if you only know how care feels.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And through this, I\u2019m moving forward, learning how to care more about the important things in my life. And care less of other things that really don\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you care about? How did you learn to \"care\"? What are some things you're learning to care less of? or more of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would love to hear about them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today, I got a sore throat so I stayed home. Since the beginning of Jan, I started writing on Wed mornings. For two hours, I wrote whatever I wanted to write. So even though I was sick, I still pulled out my laptop because I wanted to continue this writing. If I make this open, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1006,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n